I fell pregnant for the first time when I was 25 years old. I had recently lost my mother to cancer, and also my grandparents. My father found someone else overnight and I woke up one day with a big void inside me. I decided to end a 3 years relationships from several reasons, mainly knowing it will never lead to anything as serious as I wanted or needed.
Short after I meet this guy, 11 years older than me, who said the right thing at the right time, I ended up pregnant 4 months into our relationship.
Never regretted getting pregnant, but wish I would have been more aware of the person I though I knew for 4 months. Long story short, we did not work out, it took a lot of me to realise that it is ok to leave a bad situation, even if I was pregnant. In was not easy to work towards a better future on my own, even if I was all alone in this.
I always ran from this feeling of loneliness. My father and his new wife, insisted I get an abortion..as if it was their decision to take, or place to suggest such thing. Little did I know that this was going to be just the beginning of many years full of lies and disappointment from their side.
Because of all this, I cannot say I enjoyed being pregnant. This first pregnancy was clouded by a dysfunctional relationship, sadness, anger and of course spending most of the time next to the toilet feeling sick.
I moved alone, into a one bed flat 2 weeks before my due date. By then I was sure I couldn't bring Eve into the world in any other circumstance. So at 40 weeks and 3 days, Eve arrived, with no issues, naturally, after 12 hours labour. Weighing 4,080kg. Yeah, not small :))
I became a mum. My world shook and a new life was ahead of me.